Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A New Year, A New Direction!

Ok ok technically it isn’t a “new” year anymore considering that it’s May already, but for our family it is. A year (and a month) ago, we began trying for another child. We have always wanted a lot of kids (4 was our goal) and close together so we thought, ok Jacob is 1 so its time! God has had some other plans. About a month after we started trying it was apparent that my PCOS was beginning to act up and stayed that way for about 4 months. I decided to finally see my doctor and she “fixed” that issue for a while but we still couldn’t seem to get pregnant. Fast forward to mid-March and I was losing my mind. A combination of the one year mark creeping up and the fact that all of my friends and family were one by one becoming pregnant broke me. Broke me to the point that I just gave up. I just couldn’t do it anymore. But unfortunately the idea of not trying anymore was just as hard as trying without results. Thankfully, earlier in the week we were reading “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan in our small group and we were on chapter nine. Chapter nine was filled with stories about people that were obsessed with God, so obsessed that they did some awesome, life-changing things. In that moment that I gave up, God used this chapter to convict me and move me. Suddenly I felt peace and assurance that God had great plans for us, that He was going to use our love for children, just in His timing not ours. The next morning I felt this overwhelming need to help children around the world. I googled every website I could think of, Compassion, Living Water International, etc, and then suddenly I decided to Google adoption. Suddenly it was so clear to me: God is yelling at us to adoption and I was refusing to listen. So, I am so ecstatic to announce that we are going to Adopt from Ethiopia!!

I think the best way to explain all the details is to do some Q & A with some questions that we have already been asked

Are you adopting because you are infertile? Yes...and no. We are adopting because God is commanding us to and we want to be obedient. God is using our infertility to get our attention. He is not trying to hurt us or leave us wanting but honestly I wouldn't listen until I was forced to. Chris and I have been talking about adoption since before we even began dating, but if I had my way, we would be adopting later in life and probably only once. It's not because I don't have a heart for orphans but because I want to do things MY way and MY way is to have 4 biological kids, adopt 1 and then look into fostering after our kids are headed to college. It's funny because now that I am where I am I can see how God has been trying to get my attention. Just some subtle things like friends asking about adoption, messages at church suddenly about adoption and of course, Chris asking me how I felt. My answer? Not yet! I just didn't think I was ready yet and even more, I didn't want to yet. But thankfully God showed me His loving grace and changed me heart. After the small group reading I mentioned earlier, I prayed that if God wanted to us to move toward adoption, if he could please just give me a sign...and He did! Later, when I asked Chris how he felt about adoption he said "I feel like God has been pushing us toward adoption for a few months", I asked him why he didn't tell me and he said, in a very loving way, that he had, I just didn't want to hear it. Oops! I immediately started crying, in awe of how God was working in our lives already.

Why adopt internationally? Because God is calling us to. Ok I know it's not always that simple but honestly it's the truth. We aren't against domestic adoptions and hope to foster/adopt domestically in the future but right now we feel that our child is in Ethiopia.

Why Ethiopia? Well, because you have to be 30 to adopt from China! Ok kinda...when we first starting thinking about international adoption we only considered China, until of course we realized that we were too young! I immediately became discouraged and kind of worried that maybe I was wrong, maybe this isn't what we were supposed to do. And then I fell in love with Ethiopia. I have to thank 2 very awesome women who let God speak to me through their blogs. My next blog will answer this question better!

What next? We wait! I know some of y'all are thinking, "well duh, adoption includes a lot of waiting, but when are y'all going to start the paperwork?" to which I answer "we don't know yet". Frustrating huh? In short, we have a lot of debt we have to pay off before we can move forward. So right now we are praying for God to guide us to a "when" and until then we are trying to be the best stewards that we can be. If I had to guess when I think our budget says we will be financially ready, I would guess in about a year.

What can we do to help? Pray!! Your prayer will mean so much to us! Some things we need prayer over are:
Patience: Over the next year we are going to continue to pay off debts and sell our house. These two things HAVE to be done before we can even apply to adopt. During this time we are going to try to learn as much about the process as we can so when we are finally ready and get the “GO” from God, we can dive in! Also, I have zero patience so I could really use some!
Financial: Adoptions are expensive and at the moment we have no way to fund it. BUT we know that God is capable of anything and I trust that if this is His calling He will provide. Please pray that we can be good stewards of the things that He has given us!
Guidance: Enough said!
Healing: None of this has come easy to us. This last year has been painful and testing and we know the road in front of us is not going to be easy either. Thankfully we have a wonderful and loving Father God who gives us peace and a pretty awesome support system too!

Lastly, please have patience with this blog! I have no idea what I am doing design wise so it will probably change a lot in the next few months! Come back soon for some exciting updates as we go through this adventure!


Jeremiah 29:11 ”For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

1 comment:

  1. Wow! This actually amazing. I have to admit, I did not know you could write so well (I thought that was my strong point, jeez do we have to be in competition over everything??). I know (prob better than anyone) how witty & articulate you can be when you are passionate about and focused on something, but I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised. I am so proud to see how the 2 of you not only are listening to and obeying what God is telling you, but how you never stop fighting for your dreams. I wish I was that confident. Good way to recount what you are learning (for the purpose of reflection) and teaching tools for those who want to know more and/or those who are looking to start their own journey!