Running to Z

I'm going to be honest, I have no idea how this post is going to end up, maybe a ramble or maybe I will actually compose something that makes sense to others? Who knows but I feel the need to write, to get some feelings of my chest as well as some updates. First I will say that we are so thankful for all the support we have had so far! I know a lot of people in the adoption community that have had some bad reactions to their decision to adopt and I can honestly say that we have not had that experience! We are surrounded by such amazing people! I know that we will have opposition for the rest of our lives but with the support system we have, I know we will get through it.
Right now our adoption process has kinda stalled. Yes we are still moving forward and nothing has really changed, it just seems that suddenly we are at a place where we have to wait. We have to wait on a few things before we can keep moving and it kind of feels like our feet are glued to the ground. Like no matter how hard we are trying to make a forward step, we just can't move. Thankfully though I know this is just temporary. I know we will very soon have the funds to send our social worker the check to pay for the home study, the doctor will re-fill out and re-sign our medical forms and Chris' social security card will arrive in the mail (well I hope it will!). But until all these things happen we can't move forward with our home study and this means we must wait. Anyone that knows me well knows I am horrible at waiting, seriously I'm BAD at it! I'm even worse at it if I think that I could be doing something about but can't. The worst part about my impatience is that I start to close up, especially to God. As I pull myself further from God I realize that a lot of the feelings that God has shielded me from are starting to creep back in. This scares me, I don't want to be back in that place. I KNOW what God wants for our family, for our future but slowly I feel like I'm forgetting. The feelings of loneliness and inadequacy have been trying to steal my joy about our future, trying to make me feel like adoption will never be "good enough" for me, that I will never be satisfied until I have a little baby in my tummy again. This saddens me for many different reasons, I WANT to adopt and I don't want anything holding me back from our future children, future as a family and from God and His plan. I want this to be more then just about us and our family! I just wish I wasn't so human! But even as I am writing this I can feel God's loving grace surrounding and reminding me of not only what I want but what HE wants (ha no joke the song that just came on my iPod is "Running to You" by Newsboys).
One of the few things that does help me with waiting is to have a tangible goal. Well of course with adoption there is a tangible goal, but right now the "goal" in my mind is a faceless, nameless child and well that hurts my heart! I want so badly to see his/her face and hear their voice. I'm so tired of say "his/her" so instead we are calling them Z! Yep Z! Why Z? While trying for baby #2 Chris and I were pretty set on girl name and a boy name but for some reason as we have transitioned into the adoption process, I keep coming back to a different boy name, Zachary (Zoe is the same girl name but for a different reason) and finally we decided that we will keep these names when we finally bring Z home. Both have great meanings and I feel are perfect for our child. Zachary comes from Zachariah which means remembered by God. I want our child to know that even though at one time he was an orphan, he was remembered and loved by God. Zoe means life and I want my child (well all children of course) to LIVE a life of love and fulfillment!
Something I keep saying and keeping trying to remind myself of, is that adoption, through God's lead, will ALWAYS happen on God's timeline. Every holdup and stall is for a reason. Our child will come home when God is ready for them to. I can either let it hold me down or I can use this time to prepare for the race ahead of us by praying and drawing closer to God. I choose to run to Z!!

~Abbey

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Newton Family Scentsy Fundraiser - Ends Aug 17

A week and a half ago a friend of mine, who is a Scentsy consultant told me that she wanted to use Scentsy to help us fund raise for our adoption. She mentioned this during the garage sale/rain craziness and I wasn't able to get back to her until later that day. Jonna, being the awesome person that she is quickly set everything up and started the online Scentsy party without me asking and without my help! How awesome is that! I am soooooo thankful to her for doing this for our family. Please check it out, I've heard great things about Scentsy (my order is in route!) and they have a great selection! Here is the link and just join the Newton Family Fundraiser party! https://jonnamcneely.scentsy.us/Buy/SetupPrompt

Also, anyone that orders in the first $1000 orders is automatically entered into a drawing to win a free fullsize warmer!

Remember that the online party has been extended till August 17th, so if you are interested in ordering, get your orders in by August 17th!

We thank you for your support!!

~Abbey

Don't forget to check out the Made with Love Event!!

Just a reminder to check out the Made With Love Event going on on a friend's blog. Our shop, A Novel Idea Crafts, is a sponsor and you can enter to receive a $15 gift certificate from our shop! There are also some really cool shops that you can check out and you can enter their giveaways too! Check it out : http://ftmommyferg.blogspot.com/2011/07/made-with-love-event-is-open_18.html

Im healthy too (for the most part)!

This morning I received a call from our doctor's office letting me know that but follow up blood work came back and things look great...except that my thyroid levels are stil a little high. She said its no biggie and I will just need to take a pill once a day and re-check it in 8 weeks. Though Im a little upset that I didn't get that "clear bill of health", I am VERY thankful that it is something small and won't stall our medical exams. Our doctor should be signing our forms today and tomorrow we get to check another thing off out list!!

Chris is healthy!

During all the garage sale craziness last week, I forgot to update that Chris received a call last week that his follow up bloodwork came back normal!! Praise God!! We are waiting for the doctor to have time to finish filling out the form and sign it (thankfully they have a notary on staff!). Today I went it to get my follow up blood work done and I should know something later this week. Praying it comes back normal and we can move on! Thankfully I have already been told that I was barely abnormal last time and I may just have to manage it with meds...still hoping for a completely clear bill of health though! We are getting closer to being able to turn in our homestudy packet!

~Abbey

Blessed Beyond My Worth

I am blessed. Over the weekend I received MANY blessings and I am still processing them. unfortunately sometimes with blessings come attacks too. Today I am being emotionally attacked and it has been keeping from truely appreciating my blessings. I am tired and weak. I feel so unworthly of all the blessings we have received and honestly its kind of hard to write this post because I just keep thinking Im not even worthy enough to write it! But I am blessed!! In the last week it has literally been one thing after another, so much that Im having a hard time keeping track (and remembering to thank!). Some of our blessings are:

• An order for jewelry which ended up being almost twice what I usually charge because they wanted me to add sterling silver components


• A donation from another adopting family who is still trying to raise funds for their adoption.


• Three other orders from our etsy shop!


• More donations for our garage sale


• A friend commiting to monthly donations AND letting me know that her small group is praying for us...in another state!


• Raising $713 during our garage sale even though it rained for most of the 2nd day (people just kept coming!)


• A blogging mommy friend reviewing one of our etsy items on her blog (check out the Made with Love Event on her blog http://ftmommyferg.blogspot.com/ )


• A friend hosting a Scentsy party to help us raise funds https://jonnamcneely.scentsy.us/Buy/SetupPrompt


• And all the help, support and prayers from family and friends

So many times during this weekend I felt defeated (like when we had just finished bringing all the donations out into the yard and then heard thunder) but God reminded me that all of this is bigger than me and He could do more than I could ever even imagine. For example, we had 4 pieces of big furniture and no one had even inquired about them when the thunder started. I knew that we could easily cover and store the other items if the rain started, but not the furniture. I panicked, then prayed (ok more like begged) and within an hour each piece was sold! I have more to say on this but I don't think I can write it as eloquently as I'd like right now. Just know that you are loved and God can do more than you could ever imagine! (Oh yeah and check out the Scentsy party!!)

~Abbey

Isaiah 55:8 "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts" says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

Getting Stuff Done and Closer to Home Study!

So now that the initial shock of all the paperwork has finally subsided, Im feeling pretty confident that we CAN do all this and I know that everything is going to happen in God's timing, no matter how fast I try to make it happen. Already we have hit a few "bumps" in the road (medical abnormalities and being tested further, missing documents, etc) but Im strangely ok (after a little prayer of course), knowing that our child just isn't ready yet. I'm excited though because we already have quite a few items checked off the check list! Here's a list to give an idea of what we have finished and what we still have left to do!

Done:

• Proof of home ownership


• Guardianship Statement Form


• Birth Certificate Photocopies


• Marriage License Photocopies


• Pet Vax Proof


• 1040 Tax Form copy


• Reference Letters given to awesome people :)


• Driver's License copies


• Reading Agreement


• Health Insurance Coverage Proof

Waiting on:

• Chris' Social Security Card


• Medical Exam form


• Floor Plan Sketch


• Pics of Yard areas and home


• Employment Verification.


• Home Study Questionaires (all 180 questions each!)


• 10 Forms to fill out/sign


• The Rest of the Home Study to be funded

As you can see we aren't doing too bad! Now let's just pray that all our medical retesting comes back ok and they can just write a simple note about it and be done with it! Ok I have more to say but I will write another blog post later!

~Abbey